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Friday, December 31, 2010

Sweets: A Request


FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31, 2010


Sweets: A Request

Barbara has gotten somewhat somnolent again and even fell asleep during her physical therapy session this afternoon. The therapist suggested that too much sweet food may be making her sleepy. Indeed, most visitors have been bringing her very rich deserts and I am at a loss to keep her from eating a lot of that stuff. Yesterday, she O.D.'d on sweets so this may be part of the problem. While I am very grateful for the kind thoughts behind those gifts, I hope that the temptation to bringing very rich foods to Barbara could be resisted. She does indeed enjoy those things but, for the reason mentioned and other obvious ones, please consider this request. 

It is natural to inquire what the connection between sweets and the somnolence may be. In my profession we make up stories to go with what seems to be happening before our eyes and so, knowing that I know nothing of this business, I offer a rationalization anyway. 

In my reading about tumors I have learned that they need glucose to grow and those rich foods may supply glucose to Barbara's tumor in abundance. If the tumor swells, it will press on the surrounding blood vessels and so cut off the blood supply to (at least parts of) her brain. 

This may not be sound medical theory but, taken with the advice of the physical therapist, it points to a suggestion that I hope that we may be guided by. 

Happy new year to all,
ed

Sweets: A Request

Barbara has gotten somewhat somnolent again and even fell asleep during her physical therapy session this afternoon. The therapist suggested that too much sweet food may be making her sleepy. Indeed, most visitors have been bringing her very rich deserts and I am at a loss to keep her from eating a lot of that stuff. Yesterday, she O.D.'d on sweets so this may be part of the problem. While I am very grateful for the kind thoughts behind those gifts, I hope that the temptation to bringing very rich foods to Barbara could be resisted. She does indeed enjoy those things but, for the reason mentioned and other obvious ones, please consider this request.

It is natural to inquire what the connection between sweets and the somnolence may be. In my profession we make up stories to go with what seems to be happening before our eyes and so, knowing that I know nothing of this business, I offer a rationalization anyway.

In my reading about tumors I have learned that they need glucose to grow and those rich foods may supply glucose to Barbara's tumor in abundance. If the tumor swells, it will press on the surrounding blood vessels and so cut off the blood supply to (at least parts of) her brain.

This may not be sound medical theory but, taken with the advice of the physical therapist, it points to a suggestion that I hope that we may be guided by.

Happy new year to all,
ed

Monday, December 27, 2010

Joan's conversation with Barbara

My conversation with B. was very exciting. Her voice seemed almost normal, and we talked about the art exhibits I saw in London, the Turner Prize and compared the Nat. Gallery in London to the Prado. Ed says it is really a matter of whether she is up or down, but it's nice to hear that others have also had encouraging conversations.

Joan Pearlman

Monday, December 20, 2010

At the oncologist's

Today is December 14, our day for another visit to Dr. Omuro. The appointment was for 9:00 a.m., which automatically carried the instruction to come twenty minutes early. In this instance, there was no reason to be early since it was not a visit that Dr. O. seemed to take very seriously. December 14 was also the day for the patients on the fifth floor of 607 Hudson Street to be moved to the new building at 214 Houston Street. So we were lucky to be out of the way for that activity (which in fact went well).

I got to Hudson St. at 5:45 or so and found that Barbara was awake and had been dressed, except for her shoes, by Shelly the night caregiver. Mimi had dropped off a couple of croissants and four mandarins (or tangerines as they were called in the Bronx back when) on the previous evening. So we had a light breakfast and settled back to await departure in the car I had ordered for 7:45. Hyacinth, the day care person arrived somewhat after seven at around the same time as the institutional breakfast and insisted on feeding this to Barbara. I was not in favor of all that eating but H. has been getting more and more obdurate and pressed on with the cream of wheat and omelet. I suspect that many people in her profession are in the habit of helping moribund patients and are not able to adapt to caring for thinking entities.

Steve C. then came over to help and went downstairs to wait for the hired car. Annie, a leader of the caregiving consortium came in to direct just as Steve came back to report that the car had arrived. There were too many cooks brewing but we finally got Barbara downstairs in her wheel chair and into the car. Getting the wheel chair into the trunk was a bit harder than getting Barbara into the car because of the additional contribution of the driver. The weather was not helpful with the temperature in the twenties (F) but we got to 53rd St. in good time and settled into the sumptuous waiting room to await the call. (Fruit juices, coffee, tea and chocolate were the available beverages and the snacks were graham crackers and pretzels.) I was disappointed to find that Barbara was not wearing the corduroy jacket we had had in mind for this outing but such things were to be expected with everyone pulling in a different direction.

At last we were greeted by the pleasant receptionist whom we had seen previously. After we had inquired politely how she had done in the NY marathon, she led us into an examination room to await examination. But before the fateful meeting there came the obligatory brief interrogation by the highly competent onco-nurse. Finally, Dr. Omuro himself joined us.

Perfunctory greetings having been exchanged, I reported that Barbara in the past few days has been sorely burdened by fatigue and has slept through visits by various friends. Nevertheless, she had carried on some pleasant conversations that Judy V. found enjoyable and that Diana C. called amazing. Dr. O. was not impressed and preferred to test Barbara's conversational skills with some straightforward questions such "What is this?" or "Who is that?" Barbara's response to these was to smile and shake her head. This gave Dr. O. a bad impression of her cognition. He also felt that her walking ability had not improved much since our last visit.

These perceptions gave him a dim view of our prospects, which he revealed to me when we had repaired to a nearby small office to confer. I can only imagine what Barbara thought our leaving the room meant. And she would have been right. The doctor told me that if Barbara stayed where she is, she probably cannot have further treatment since the rehab center would be financially responsible for this and it is expensive. Since she is an inpatient, they would not be allowed to let me pay for the treatment and perhaps they would not want to in any case. (On our return to the rehab center, I asked Michael, the social worker about this, and he said that he would inquire with the financial department. I have had no word as yet.) Likewise, were she in hospice care, further treatment would be precluded as well. It appears that only if she were at home would she be eligible for treatment. And doctor O. felt that it would be dangerous for her to be at home in her condition. I don't know if I agree with his assessment but, in any case, I would like to get a better staff of caregivers in place before taking Barbara home with them. The lack of any medical personnel is something I worry about.

The possible treatments Dr. O. discussed with me were Avastin or a combination of Avastin and TMZ. These are discussed separately in the in the earlier bulletins and are also described in Wikipedia and some Google sources. But the doctor did point out the possible adverse side effects of Avastin (such as kidney problems) especially for people in Barbara's age group.

He left me impression that he was meeting us only because he had been pressed to so. He was apparently aware of my inquiries with Dr. Posner (reported in earlier bulletins) and was offering me all possible options except that of an understanding inquiry into Barbara's condition.

In the evening with Barbara ensconced in her new bed, I was drawn out, against my better judgement on all this within hearing of a deeply sleeping Barbara. Does she take such things in subconsciously? At any rate, as we were getting her into bed for the night somewhat later, she looked for her coat and spoke of the 'hood.' I finally realized that she meant 'hood' -home, in effect- not the hood on her coat. She wanted to go home, whereas two days ago she had replied ambivalently to a question about whether she wanted this. I must reconsider the options. The new building has lived up to my expectations of a clean well-lit place that should provide a morale raising milieu. But it is not a home even with me present during almost all of Barbara's waking hours?

The truth is that I still would like to get some treatment for Barbara. It may be a selfish wish but I think it only natural. Yet for every piece of advice encouraging this wish, I have received an equally reasonable discouraging one. On the other hand, I am not happy with Dr. O.'s assessments. On Thursday, two days after most of this bulletin was written, Sharon, the physical therapist, took Barbara walking. She was able to trudge along unsupported for a good distance (100 ft. or more), though she was carefully watched. Not only was her walking much better than Dr. O. could get her to perform, but her speech has been impressive. Tracy, the speech therapist managed to fit in a brief session on the afternoon of moving day (Tuesday) and reported that Barbara was speaking well. Then two days after our meeting with Dr. O., we saw Dr. David at the Rusk Rehabilitation Center for a standard follow up to our stay there about a month ago. Dr. David also asked Barbara direct questions, including some of the ones that Dr. O. asked and Barbara answered them easily. Yet, Dr. O. does get her to clam up when asking the same sorts of questions.

My problem is not with with the procedures per se. It is that I do not is how much the (to me) unsympathetic examination procedures Barbara submits to at MSKCC influence the treatments (or lack of them) that are on offer. After all, some members of the tumor team have not seen Barbara at all and their opinions are formed on the basis of second hand information based on this kind of examination.

[ Here is a letter from Karl Lauby, Vice President for Communications, The New York Botanical Garden, a fellow chorister of Barbara's and a loyal friend, to a friend of his after he lost his wife to ovarian cancer. Karl has kindly allowed me to include this excerpt from his letter though we both understand that anecdotes about ovarian cancer may not bear directly on what happens with brain tumors. ]

From: "Lauby, Karl" December 15, 2010
Subject: Lila and Avastin with Cytoxan
Ed, Here is Lila's Avastin Cytoxan experience as indicated by the numbers below. Different cancer, different person, all different. In any case, this was one patients experience.

I guess all the fuss in the popular press about Avastin and some chemo combination, (a cocktail, right?) is about the variation that Lila received that led to this dramatic drop in her CA 125 I recorded in June 2008. According to my notes, that went on six months to January 2009. Then we tried weekly taxal. Then we tried the trial at MSKCC which did not work and things went downhill. So it appears to me Lila got a little more than the reported average of four months from this Avastin combination. (I assume cytoxan is form of close to standard chemo theapy.) I just wish we had not started to slide in the summer of 2009. I guess the nature of Stage IV ovarian is that the slide starts sometime. Just wish we could have kept on the level longer.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Persevering



We returned from MSKCC to our subacute rehab center on Hudson St. on Dec. 2. (I am getting shaky on dates and other such details, but I have the time intervals more or less straight). For various reasons, some of which you may have read already in earlier bulletins, we decided to try getting our caregivers from an agency. We consulted two people familiar with such things and they suggested the same agency --- Partners in Care. So we called them and they provided round the clock coverage.

The rule in these situations is that a caregiver does not leave the patient until a replacement arrives. In the first three days of our use of the agency, their caregivers were quite late, one by five hours. This left the one that was waiting in a terrible state. I was none too calm about it either. Then, on Thursday, Dec. 9, I got a phone call at 6:15am from the rehab center. The caller hemmed and hawed for a while, worrying me no end, till he finally confessed that Barbara had gotten out of bed and fallen at 2:15am. It was not clear why he waited so long to notify me but this was not the moment to discuss such issues. I got myself to Hudson St. and found Barbara asleep and seemingly OK except for some bruises on her arms.

This was quite painful especially as the chief reason for engaging the agency was to prevent just such incidents. According to some of the nurses' aides, the watcher of that evening was observed napping behind a curtain. This called for some action and I spoke to various people including the workers in the rehab center. We got some names and Mimi tried to put together a cohort of watchers but it proved impossible to mesh their schedules to achieve full time coverage, especially given the need to hurry. We did finally manage to hire a consortium of caregivers that seems more reliable than some of the agency people. None of these arrangements is perfect but it seems as if the present situation is workable, in large part because of Barbara's bravery and cooperative spirit. She has been amazing throughout this whole ordeal which has now gone on for over seven months.

In the past few days, from about the 9th of December, Barbara has been conversing with visitors, carrying on with her therapies (physical and speech) and gamely battling the intense fatigue caused by her illness and (I gather) her medication. It grieves me greatly to leave her side at night but I feel that the present arrangement is still safer for her than living at home in her present impulsive mode. And she has medical care at all times here at the rehab center.

There were also a few small disappointments in the past week besides the fall, which upset me far more than it upset Barbara. Ulla was going to come down from Cambridge to New Haven on Wednesday Dec. 9 and join up there with Kim. They were planning to come into town together for lunch with Barbara and Mimi. But Willem fell quite ill and so that meeting has been postponed until Willem is in better shape.

Then, on the evening of Dec. 10, Mimi called to report that Barbara's coat was missing. This was just the right coat for the current weather and I was planning on using it for our trip uptown on Tuesday when we are to see Dr. Omuro. I will skip the details of that detective story but report only that the coat was returned to the room on the next day, Saturday. This allowed me to take Barbara out for a wheel chair ride. We bought a berry scone in a nearby famers' market and ate it in the sunshine in Abingdon Square, a pleasant mini-park. When I then asked Barbara if she wanted a cappuccino, she said yes and off we went to the Minerva coffee shop on 4th St. I made a bad choice there because there was no wheel chair access. But after all this time in these circumstances, I know my wheel chairs and got the thing up the (approximately) five inch high step. Imagine my disappointment when Barbara did not like the cappuccino at all. (She has not had real coffee for several months and may have lost the taste for it.) Still, it was a very enjoyable outing.

The next day, Sunday, Judy and Mimi were to take Barbara to a bistro for lunch but they were rained out. So they settled for nice visits separately in Barbara's room. Mimi brought lox and bagels but Barbara preferred the Sunday turkey dinner provided by the Center. Her taste buds are completely other than of old owing to various factors. But Mimi and I enjoyed the brunch Mimi had provided. (Yes, I showed up in time for that.)

Now it is Monday evening (Dec. 13). Barbara has had one of her sleepier days and she has slept through visits of Steve C. (who brought me a sushi lunch) and Peter K. who told me how to prepare a reed for use with an oboe. Tomorrow morning we'll set off at 7:45 to go see Oncologist Omuro and then return to the new quarters at 214 Houston St. --- assuming that the move will have been completed on schedule. I believe that our new room number will be 218 but there is no telling for sure till we are installed.