Memories

Taken sometime between 1978 and 1986.

Dear Ed, We have joked and laughed together many times but this is a time to be sad together. Great operas show how sadness and grieving are a basic, elemental uttering of the human spirit---but they never capture, for all their art, how life really is when someone so dear passes away. Barbara was such a joy to know and be with during the many summers at Woods Hole (and elsewhere). Lin and I are with you and yours in spirit and with utmost sympathy during this sad time. Laughter will return from time to time, but now mixed with fond memories. Barbara would want it so.
                                                                         Jack Whitehad

Jack and I are sincerely saddened by Barbara’s passing and will always remember many happy hours in her company! She had such a wonderful, positive, joy-filled spirit, that it was infectious! One of the things I will always remember is the time she phoned and asked if I could recommend a voice teacher. Barbara wanted to audition for a very select choral group in NYC. What a special person to undertake a new endeavor such as this and with such motivation and enthusiasm, I thought! How many of us at her age (though Barbara was always young) attempt such a new challenge? Of course, she did take the lessons, was accepted into the choir, and even sang at Carnegie Hall. We will miss her so much and we extend our sincere sympathy to Ed, Mimi, and to all who loved her.
                                                                      Lin Whitehead

Dear Ed, I am deeply saddened by the news of the passing of Barbara. She was a remarkable person and I have fond memories of all those evenings we spend together at your house in Woods Hole. I am so glad that my wife and my son actually got to know her on our last visit. Several years ago my mother passed away from cancer. I was present during her last days, so I have some real sense of what you and Barbara and everyone close to her had to go through in the last few months. Perhaps words are of no help here, but nevertheless, please accept our heartfelt condolences for the light that has gone out in your life.
                                                                      Sandip Ghosal

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The 2008 end-of-program picnic @ Casa Veronis (by Paula)
                                                                      Charley and Paula Barbara kept track of all of our lives: our birthdays (here she has recorded one of her interminable and grammatically perfectly well formed voice mails for me, in spite of being so techno-logically retarded) and our anniversaries. She also used to write us real, 19th century handwritten letters, on nice stationary and with cute high-culture postal stamps. We love you, even though we cannot return the call.
                                                                      Predrag

Barbara was a wonderful friend and deeply musical. We'll miss her so much. And, dear Ed, thank you too for everything.
                                                                      Ruth and Michael McIntyre

We are so sorry for your loss Ed. She was an amazing woman, and a graceful, funny, beautiful friend. Since we heard the news, Stacey and I have been talking and reminiscing about all the wonderful times we spent with Barbara: stumbling home at 3am in the morning, having finally escaped the Spiegels' merciless hospitality; Barbara's endless restaurant recommendations (always excellent); hearing Barbara sing the Messiah with her choir at Carnegie Hall; Barbara and her friends taking yoga classes from Stacey; visiting the two of you at the rehabilitation center, always greeted by Barbara's sweet smile and twinkling eyes and unstoppable sense of humor; and, above all, constantly admiring the love and affection that you both displayed so shamelessly. All of these things are irreplaceable. We miss her terribly, but we are so grateful to have known her. Much love,
                                                                      Shane and Stacey Keating

Dear Ed and Mimi, John and I are so very sad to hear that Barbara has left us. When I last saw her, on February 4, I could see she was in a steep decline but the finality of her departure is still a shock. She was a wonderful, generous person, always ready to listen and help. She made us feel welcome to New York after we moved here 15 years ago and Holly introduced us. She invited me to join her book group and introduced me to a wonderful member of the Oratorio Society who lived in my neighborhood. I shall miss her easy conversation as a lunch partner. Our deepest sympathy to you both                                                                       John and Mary Brown

[click to download the original]
[more pictures here]

As Ed wrote, a light has gone out, but we can always feel the warmth and clarity of the afterglow. Here is the only picture that I ever took of Barbara that she even slightly approved of: September 2005, Little Sippewisset Salt Marsh.
                                                                      Holly Pedlosky

I'm so sorry, Ed. It's been years and years, I know, since we've seen you, but Barbara and I kept up by mail. She was without a doubt a wonderfully special woman.
                                                                      Lydia Theys

My family feels blessed I brought Barbara into their lives and love her. Barbara and i started a friendship when we were seven years old. She continued to be a joy in my life. My family is supporting me in my grief and understand Barbara's death has left a big hole for me.
                                                                      Angela Tiley

Mon cher Ed, Je viens d'apprendre la nouvelle et ressens une très grande peine. Barbara était capable d'éclairer la vie de ceux qu'elle croisait. A la fois superbe, touchante et généreuse. Elle était tout en joie, en ingénuité et en finesse. Quelle plaisir c'était pour moi de venir diner chez vous à La Guardia place et d'être toujours magnifiquement reçu, ou bien de l'entendre chanter à Carnegie Hall puis d'aller au Burger Joint comme des écoliers en goguette. La grâce des moments simples. Elle va nous manquer mais sa flamme nous éclairera toujours pour nous montrer le chemin. Je pense fort à toi
                                                                      Denis Gueyffier

Her light illuminated many lives, and made all of them richer.
There are no words to describe how much we will miss her. Love
                                                                      Sara Solla

My deepest condolences to Ed for the passing of this incredible and unique woman. I remain, as always, his close friend, and wish him that he finds somehow enough strength to cope with this tragedy. Deepest condolences to Mimi and Philip for their terrible loss.
                                                                      Oded Regev

Cher Ed, Nous aimerions être à côté de toi, pour te dire combien nous aimions Barbara, son sourire, ses réparties malicieuses, son écoute permanente - toujours prête à rendre service. Nous perdons une amie très chère. Elle nous manquera terriblement. Nous te souhaitons de trouver la force pour surmonter cette épreuve. Nous t'embrassons affectueusement.
                                                                      Jean-Paul et Suzy Zahn

Dear Ed, What terrible news. Our hearts and thoughts go out to you, who have cared so patiently and so long for Barbara and loved her even longer -- since that first meeting, after noon, for breakfast.
She was a truly remarkable woman, who was much loved and admired by all who came across her. She definitely made the world a much better place and greatly influenced all who came in contact with her. I so remember our first meeting, in 1972. I had been at the Summer School for the first time, and, after eight weeks or so, felt that I knew all about how Walsh Cottage ran and who came to seminars and the like. One afternoon, a woman walked in and all hell broke loose. Everyone was so pleased to see her, and the man she came with. I guessed that this must be the fabled Spiegels; and I was right. And so was the commotion. She amazed me then with her warmth and friendliness; and continued always to do so, whether in our house, telling about making Hollandaise sauce by the bucketful, soothing, yet understanding my terrible, luckily now ex- , brother-in-law, staying in Cambridge, singing in the choir, accommodating both Julian and I, so many years ago, in New York; and on and on. She made our lives much more interesting and enjoyable. It is sad to think that your wonderful statement: tell to me in a way I can repeat it to Barbara will no longer be operable. But we will all remember her and her wonderful ways to the end of our days. We join in sending you and Mimi our sincerest sympathies in this terrible time. Much love.
                                                                      Felicia and Herbert Huppert